How do I even start. Today broke me, day 857890 or so of homeschooling and I finally broke down, I’m exhausted and it shows. We are missing our family and friends just like millions of other people here in the UK and other parts of the world. Does it make it easier that we are the same of the majority of people – no, am I missing my own time when the kids are at school to actually get some work done – hell yes!

The hardest part is seeing the kids miss and worry about their friends and family; it’s just heartbreaking. People say kids are resilient, which they are but how can we really know the thoughts that are going through their heads and the real longterm damage it could do.

Today was just too much, I sat on the floor and cried. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t catch my breath. The crying got louder and louder and even in my own head I was thinking what the actual fuck is happening right now? I cried for at least an hour and even when I thought I had stopped, the tears continued to fall, no noise or loss of breath, just tears falling down my face. I think my mind needed it, it has felt so full of worry these last few months that I’ve been trying to push everything to the back of my mind and obviously today is the day it pushed back. I felt incredibly guilty of crying in front of my kids, but I think in all honestly I had absolutely no control over it. Just like a panic attack out of nowhere.

Today we only home-schooled for an hour, but i’m not going to give myself a hard time over it, today just wasn’t a good day.

My writing is currently utter shit, along with my development that I’ve spent a lot of money on. Thank god for a few short courses that I can do from my phone or I think I would literally have had a full on breakdown.

Who knew I’d ever decide to study a diploma on Crystal Healing on Animals but there you go, the whole world is so different at the moment so I just figured I’d give something different ago and I’m loving it. I am Reiki qualified anyway but animals are a whole new thing, just a shame my cat keeps running away from me. I’m looking at refreshing my skills on Child Psychology as well, if there is ever a time to understand how those little minds work, its now. Twenty-one thousand people have taken the Child Psychology course i’m looking at with the Centre of Excellence, so its got to be a good one. If only there were only courses on how to hypnotise your kids to stop them moaning and fighting, I’d pay good money for that.

I think many of us have hit the point past boredom. No longer can I bake everyday with my kids like in the first lock down, I already have an extra dress size that refuses to leave me. The meditation and yoga that my daughter joined in with, has now changed to me attempting to do it and being interrupted more than ten times, that it’s just not worth it now.

I have also taken up Manifesting to try and switch my mindset, lets just say I have a long way to go. I have brought the book Just F*cking Do It by Noor Hibbert and its brilliant, well worth a read if you are looking into changing your mindset. I have it on audible with amazon who are currently offering a free trial, there is so much to pick from you’ll never be bored. You can also get hypnosis audio books on there; which I’ve just started to use to try to help me with my sleep.

If it is 0 days since you cried as well, then just know I understand and we are definitely not alone. Mental health problems have tripled in the UK alone since Covid-19 arrived; as well as 1 in 4 of us suffering at some point in our lives pre-covid.

Here are some tips to help you stay mentally well during lockdown:

  • Stay connected with others either by facetime, social media or messaging
  • Talk about your worries instead of bottling them up
  • Look after your body with healthy eating and a walk
  • Stay away from the daily news, only watch the important updates
  • Set yourself tasks thats you need to complete that day and stick to it
  • Try and sleep at the same time every night
  • Take as much time as you can doing the things you enjoy.
  • Try listening to an audio book or sleep app. Set a timer on them.

I hope this list as helped you and don’t forget if you need help then reach out to family and friends or call your GP. There are also lots of different helplines out there too.

Stay safe

* Disclaimer: Some links and products are linked to an affiliate account where I earn a small commission if purchased. I only mention products and companies I am happy with and purchase from myself.

 

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8 thoughts on “I Last Cried 0 Days Ago

  1. Such a great blog post. So vulnerable. I think we should all be more open about how we feel so we can help each other out. It has definitely not been easy on any of us, but we are still doing the best we can, and we will get through this and come out stronger as a whole community.

    I have also started listening to many audio books and just go for long walks. It helps me unwind. And meditation at nights before sleeping. Thank you so much for your tips and for showing your real emotions.. this helps all of us to do the same. Love your blog xx

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely feedback. I can’t believe im just seeing these. I hope your feeling good now lockdown is easing. Fingers crossed it’s back to normal life by June 🙂

  2. Okay, now that’s an honest post if you ask me. I am cheering you on for showing such vulnerability as, of honesty and vulnerability, we should have more in this world. So thank you for keeping it real. Also really feeling your tips to stay mentally well during the lockdown. Jotted down the sleeping at the same time thing, as with my yoga shala being currently closed, I *have* been a bit rebelling (after all those years of setting my alarm at 5 am). But maybe that’s not such a good idea in the end 😉 So thank you for the mindful reminder. Stay strong. Love, Susanne

  3. Wow, this post is so honest and vulnerable, I can’t explain how much I can relate to this. Lockdown feels never ending with no reward at the end of it. I am a huge fan of Audible so thank you so much for sharing that book. Keep you’re head up gal and please reach out if you need someone to chat to! xxxx

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